This reminds me of someone......

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Anytown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, and so on.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had left the church except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

Now, this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Hey! Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "I've been married to your sister for 25 years."


I can relate to the statement "I've been married to your sister for 25 yrs." However, I would change it to "Satan, I'm your niece."
My dad has made me feel just like that man in the joke. Obviously he wasn't as evil as Satan but he could be really cruel & hurtful. The mental abuse that my sister & I have endured is finally over because our father dis-owned us several years ago. We will never be good enough for him or make him happy, so it's for the best that my children don't have to grow up listening to his bitching.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. He's my dad, that will never change. Just like he will never change and be a truly loving caring person. He just can't see past himself to really empathize with anyone else. He is never wrong and will never admit the horrible things he has done. A person can't change if they never admit they were wrong. I grew up thinking I was a horrible kid. Then I had my own child and realized that I was a great kid, I just had a horrible father who found it easier to pass the blame onto me & my sister instead of choosing to be the adult.

I could go on and on, listing ways I've been wronged but I'm really ok with this now. I love and accept my dad for who he is. I don't want to be wrapped up in the drama he creates, so it's safer to love him from a far.

Now my MIL is a totally different story. I'm still healing from her. I still have some anger towards her because I haven't had as much time to get over losing my "ideal version of a MIL". She also suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, like my father, but the way she abuses is different. My father would hit us or spew horrible hurtful words at us chipping away at our self-esteem. My MIL isn't like that. She is much more subtle, she likes to smile and put on the show of the perfect family when in front of others. She will smile, hug us, lie to us and then completely ignore us and our feelings. She has ZERO empathy, just like my father, at least towards us (my husband, myself & our children). She sees no reason to put any effort into a relationship with us. She really only has one child, her youngest son. She makes it so obvious that complete strangers have commented about it to me during birthday parties I have hosted. I mistakenly thought that she had no clue she was hurting us for a while but then, over time, I saw the truth. The truth is that she cares for us as much as a distant aunt or uncle would, at the most. She has no real feelings for us, not like a mother/grandmother should, not like the feelings she has for her "real family". She's only interested in us to help her put on her show, there's nothing more to it.

My Mother-in-law's ugliness still haunts me. With my dad, his nastiness was out in the open & up front, so much easier for me to handle. My MIL cut me deeper because I fell for her show. She use to pretend like she cared for us & I believed her. I never knew the monster she hid inside.

Michael & I physically separated from his mother over a year ago but healing the wounds she has caused is taking time. I'm on my way to letting go of the pain she has caused but I'm not sure about Michael. He really doesn't want to talk about it. I feel so bad for him because he doesn't have any real family other than the kids & myself. Years ago, he built a wall around his feelings to protect himself from her . Hopefully, we will break that wall completely down one day.

I have grown so much over the past ten years. I can see the positive things that have sprouted from this ugliness. Number one on the list is.......I'm NOT a victim anymore. I am a strong woman that refuses to sit back and allow anyone to hurt me or my family.